This is a touchy subject, and you really need to look at it on a case by case
basis. Many years ago, men paid for everything on a date. Nowadays, women
work and make salaries that are equal to that of a man. Things have changed a
lot regarding who pays for the date.
If a man asks a woman out on a date, especially the first date, he should expect
to pay for it. Who gets the check is sometimes viewed as who has the power in the
relationship, so it may be a good idea to spread it out, especially if she makes
similar money to you.
Some self-supporting, powerful women resent the idea of not paying or at least
sharing the bill. If a man always pays she might start to wonder what the motives
are; does he want to be in charge, is he embarrassed to have a woman pay, or is
it simply because he is enamored with the lady and wants to pay? Even the most
successful women will have trouble determining this.
Some women don’t reallycare, and for others, it is very important to the success of the relationship.
if you are asked out by the woman, then she probably intends to pay for the date,
but you should at least plan to pay for your half. If she pays for the entire date, it
is a sign of good manners that you reciprocate if you are interested in pursuing
the woman.
Once you have been dating for a while, you will find a system of paying for dates
that works best for you. Feel free to ask her if the way you have it worked out is
good for her. If your salaries are similar, you will probably find that splitting the
check or reciprocating turns is the way to go.
Once you are comfortable enough to discuss financial matters, and have been
dating for a while, you might consider going on vacation together. You should talk
about, in advance, who will pay for what. Again, if your financial situations are
similar, you may want to share the burden of the vacation expenses equally.
The overall principle here is to be courteous and considerate when it comes to
paying for things. You should always attempt to pay for your portion of the date,
or all if it if you can. If you don’t pay, she might think of you as a cheap.
But if you start the relationship by paying for everything, she might think you want to
pay all the time, for everything. Over time the two of you should be able to work
out a pattern that is fair and that you both agree is working.
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