Men Want to Feel Needed

 

 

Because of the way our society is structured today, many women are embarrassed to admit, even to themselves, that they want to feel cherished and that they need a man. It’s almost a sacrilege to admit it, even though they feel empty without a partner.

You will find that there are many women, and you may be one of them, who have a great career and date all the time but cannot maintain a relationship. And they have no idea why. It is exactly because of the fact that they have convinced themselves that they don’t need a man and that is what they project.

Unfortunately, if a man doesn’t feel that a woman needs him he will think there is nothing he can do for her that she can’t do on her own. He won’t be able to play the knight in shining armor for his woman and there is nothing that will get a man to run away faster than the feeling that he isn’t needed.

While independence is a great thing in some areas of your life, it is usually the biggest killer of intimacy. After all, would you want to be with someone who says they don’t need you? No one is saying you need to use him as an emotional crutch or relinquish all control to him, but you do need to understand that the idea of equality is highly over rated in relationships.

In fact, if you were both on equal footing then you would be just like one of his mates and very few women want to be treated like one of the guys. After all, guys never open up to each other, they are constantly competing on some level or other and they certainly don’t hug and kiss each other. Is that what you want?

Women Use Words, Men Tune Out

 

When women are upset with their man they think that the best solution is to get him to sit down and talk about it. She’ll start talking a mile-a-minute and a man will eventually tune her out. Then she will get upset that he isn’t listening to her and he doesn’t understand why she is complaining because “I can tell you everything you said.”

You need to brand the following phrase into your mind MEN HAVE SHORT ATTENTION SPANS, especially when it comes to problems. You see, men have a silly habit of presuming that every issue you talk about is in some way his fault, even if you aren’t trying to accuse him. He will then try to explain himself, which will make you even angrier and then everything degenerates into a shouting match.

Unfortunately, men don’t respond to shouting or lectures because it is a form of competition. However, men do respond to seeing the woman they love in pain and they do so tenfold if they feel she isn’t blaming them for her pain. Men will move mountains to put a smile back on the face of the woman they love.

So, instead of launching into a long explanation about what is upsetting you which will have him tuning out soon after you start, try a different approach. Simply tell him what you are feeling but keep it short and sweet. You will find he responds much better and will be much more motivated to correct whatever he might be doing that is upsetting you.

Another great way to get his attention without trying to compete with him is to simply walk away and keep your distance. Yes, initially he will be fine but soon he will start wondering if you are upset with him and then he will come to you. When that happens he will be more receptive than if you had to force him to sit down and have “the talk.”

 

Men Don’t Want to Compete With Their Woman

 

Men really don’t want to compete with their woman. They don’t marry for competition because they get enough of that in other areas of their lives, from work to their friends. What they want is someone they can confide in, someone they can have fun with and someone who will be loyal to them.

Men want peace and they want to please their wife or girlfriend which is why men avoid conflict in their relationships as best they can. Conflict, for a man, equates to a competition and men are hardwired to do everything they can to win any competition. Since most men don’t want to win over their mate, they will end up withdrawing.

Therefore, if you take a different approach and simply refuse to argue and, instead, use your feelings to disarm him, you will find that you are actually the one in control. Think about when you were a little girl and you wanted to get something from your Dad, what did you do? You used your feelings, making him feel like the best father on the planet and you would twirl him around your little finger, no matter how much trouble he would get into. It was all to make his little girl happy and put a smile on her face because it made him feel good.

The same holds true in relationships and if you can relearn the art of using your feelings, you will find that your man is much more responsive to you. He will want to do things for you simply to please you and see you happy because that is what makes him happy. There’s nothing more important to a man than the knowledge that he can please his woman.