A Woman’s Power to Influence

 

As women, we seem to think that the best way to influence our partners is either by nagging, yelling or shutting down when we feel he is ignoring us. The problem, though, is that most often than not we expect men to read our minds and understand what we want from them. Unfortunately, that is the path that will lead to certain death for any relationship for the simple reason that men are so different in how they process feelings and emotions.

For example, a woman wants to talk about her problems whereas men tend to become introverted and like to figure out their problems on their own. For a man to talk to someone about his problems it usually means that he is asking for advice or a solution, which is why when women share their problems they tend to offer solutions. The thing is that when we are airing our grievances we usually don’t want to hear a solution, we just want to be heard, understood and held. We want someone to empathize.

However, men simply don’t know how to empathize because it isn’t part of their makeup. When guys are talking about their problems to each other it is a sign that they are asking for advice, for a solution because they certainly aren’t asking for an understanding “Hmmm” and a hug, as we women expect. So, of course, when he starts offering a solution we get all upset that he doesn’t understand what we want without actually realizing that he simply doesn’t know.

On the other hand, women have a powerful “weapon”, if it can be called that, to influence men. It lies in our vulnerability. By opening your heart up and expressing your true feelings you will be surprised at the results.

You shouldn’t mistake vulnerability as a weakness because allowing yourself to be vulnerable means that you are strong enough to accept the fact that you might get hurt if you open yourself up. In fact, by allowing yourself to be vulnerable and express a full range of emotions, you will be looking after yourself more because you will be telling him exactly what you want and what you need.

You see, there are few things that make a man happier than knowing he can make his woman feel good and when she is upset, he wants to do everything in his power to make her feel better. If you can learn to genuinely express your feelings to him rather than rattle off a list of problems then you will find that he will become much more receptive.

 

What Do Men Really Want

 

First and foremost, you need to understand that men like things simple. They don’t overanalyze every phrase you say looking for a hidden meaning nor do they speak in riddles. In fact, you can be certain that in most cases, when a man says something that’s exactly what he means in that moment.

What does this mean? It means that men adore women who tell them straight what they feel and don’t feel. So, for example, rather than hinting that you are too tired to go out that evening or trying to hint at the fact that you are upset he isn’t spending enough time with you, try telling him. Yes, you run the risk of being rejected but at the same time you are showing him what you want and there’s nothing men love more than not having to worry about making a mistake and upsetting you.

Of course, delivery is important as well and a man will respond much better if your delivery is soft and feminine rather than shouting your head off at him. By being soft and feminine you completely disarm him because men want to make their women happy. On the other hand, if you start yelling, all you are doing is basically competing with him and he will start treating you like one of the guys because guys compete against each other. So, he will either do the “guy thing” and withdraw inside himself or simply try to compete with you.

You see, men marry women who make them feel good and because they have such trouble accessing their own emotions, they love being with a woman who makes them feel good. Now, if he is constantly walking around on eggshells because he doesn’t know how to please you, the last thing he will feel is good.