Because of the way our society is structured today, many
women are embarrassed to admit, even to themselves, that they want to feel
cherished and that they need a man. It’s almost a sacrilege to admit it, even
though they feel empty without a partner.
You will find that there are many women, and you may be one
of them, who have a great career and date all the time but cannot maintain a
relationship. And they have no idea why. It is exactly because of the fact that
they have convinced themselves that they don’t need a man and that is what they
project.
Unfortunately, if a man doesn’t feel that a woman needs him
he will think there is nothing he can do for her that she can’t do on her own.
He won’t be able to play the knight in shining armor for his woman and there is
nothing that will get a man to run away faster than the feeling that he isn’t
needed.
While independence is a great thing in some areas of your
life, it is usually the biggest killer of intimacy. After all, would you want
to be with someone who says they don’t need you? No one is saying you need to
use him as an emotional crutch or relinquish all control to him, but you do
need to understand that the idea of equality is highly over rated in
relationships.
In fact, if you were both on equal footing then you would be
just like one of his mates and very few women want to be treated like one of
the guys. After all, guys never open up to each other, they are constantly
competing on some level or other and they certainly don’t hug and kiss each
other. Is that what you want?
Women Use Words, Men Tune Out
When women are upset with their man they think that the best
solution is to get him to sit down and talk about it. She’ll start talking a
mile-a-minute and a man will eventually tune her out. Then she will get upset
that he isn’t listening to her and he doesn’t understand why she is complaining
because “I can tell you everything you said.”
You need to brand the following phrase into your mind MEN
HAVE SHORT ATTENTION SPANS, especially when it comes to problems. You see, men
have a silly habit of presuming that every issue you talk about is in some way
his fault, even if you aren’t trying to accuse him. He will then try to explain
himself, which will make you even angrier and then everything degenerates into
a shouting match.
Unfortunately, men don’t respond to shouting or lectures because
it is a form of competition. However, men do respond to seeing the woman they
love in pain and they do so tenfold if they feel she isn’t blaming them for her
pain. Men will move mountains to put a smile back on the face of the woman they
love.
So, instead of launching into a long explanation about what
is upsetting you which will have him tuning out soon after you start, try a
different approach. Simply tell him what you are feeling but keep it short and
sweet. You will find he responds much better and will be much more motivated to
correct whatever he might be doing that is upsetting you.
Another great way to get his attention without trying to
compete with him is to simply walk away and keep your distance. Yes, initially
he will be fine but soon he will start wondering if you are upset with him and
then he will come to you. When that happens he will be more receptive than if
you had to force him to sit down and have “the talk.”
Men Don’t Want to Compete With Their Woman
Men really don’t want to compete with their woman. They
don’t marry for competition because they get enough of that in other areas of
their lives, from work to their friends. What they want is someone they can
confide in, someone they can have fun with and someone who will be loyal to
them.
Men want peace and they want to please their wife or
girlfriend which is why men avoid conflict in their relationships as best they
can. Conflict, for a man, equates to a competition and men are hardwired to do
everything they can to win any competition. Since most men don’t want to win
over their mate, they will end up withdrawing.
Therefore, if you take a different approach and simply
refuse to argue and, instead, use your feelings to disarm him, you will find
that you are actually the one in control. Think about when you were a little
girl and you wanted to get something from your Dad, what did you do? You used
your feelings, making him feel like the best father on the planet and you would
twirl him around your little finger, no matter how much trouble he would get
into. It was all to make his little girl happy and put a smile on her face
because it made him feel good.
The same holds true in relationships and if you can relearn
the art of using your feelings, you will find that your man is much more
responsive to you. He will want to do things for you simply to please you and
see you happy because that is what makes him happy. There’s nothing more
important to a man than the knowledge that he can please his woman.
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